The Cons of Living in Florida

Actual summer in Florida via Shawn Allen on Flickr.

 

Is anyone else tired of the “50 Reasons Florida is the Best State to Live In” posts? Because I am. Let’s show them why they’re wrong.

 

1. The Weather
Don’t let those other articles manipulate you into thinking we enjoy balmy, tropical weather year round. The proper description is, “so hot you don’t even go outside, and so humid you can’t breathe.” The only time it feels balmy and tropical is at night, and you’ll be sleeping so you don’t even bother with it. It is so humid you cannot even imagine it. Literally, you cannot imagine it until you experience it. It might not be too hot out, but the humidity will have you sweating as soon as you step outside.

2. The Drivers
I know every state has their own genre of driver, but the genre known as ‘Florida Driver‘ is something to reckon with, and at this point it’s nationally known. There is no medium ground. You’re either old and can’t hit the right pedal (or speed limit) or irritable to the point that you might one day whip out a gun when someone switches into your lane. You may even be trying to rationalize those moments when you sped past that poor old lady, or flipped off someone for going 78 in the fast lane instead of 80. Don’t – just let them be. You’re in Florida, it’s fine.

3. The Lack of Seasons
I don’t think anyone really grasps this until you’re actually living here. So many articles praise Florida for it’s year round summer, and that’s annoying. We’re not Hawaii. Our summer kills off any remaining elderly drivers, and it’s literally so hot that people pass out walking up from the beach and to their cars. The scenery truly never changes. Everything is 100% flat. Foliage is never not green. The site of brown leaves are just oak trees molting before they spit pollen all over everything – it’s rude.

4. Politics
We may be a swing state and have important elections and what-not, but Rick Scott is our Governor. What else really needs to be said. Some may like him, but his sordid past is so ‘Florida’ in the eyes of everyone else in the country. Thanks, Rick.

5. Wildlife
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve read how diverse the wildlife is in the Everglades. Please, go spend a week there and tell me how many animals you see. I’ll tell you: an alligator and a few birds. You might get lucky and see one of the giant pythons that are running rampant and killing everything off, but usually, the only wildlife we see in abundance are bugs. Lowry Park Zoo has the best selection of wildlife in the state, and who really cares if the animals are transplants.

6. There is only so much to do.
To everyone outside of the state, we sound like the place to be. Beaches, water, beaches, water. Do you see a pattern? There are no mountains, no change of scenery no matter where you travel in the entire state. Only beaches, and some have brown water instead of blue. There is also shopping, and parks that all look the same. That’s about it. Everyone I know is either shopping, at the mall, at the beach, or at a movie.

7. No Public Transport
We are frequently grouped with NY and LA, and yet we have zero public transport system. No train lines, and obviously no subway because that’s not even a possibility for us. We have to have a car to get anywhere. It sucks, gas is expensive, and traffic is a nightmare.

 

Still want to move here? There are cons to any area, but those in Florida seem to be swept under the rug against the grandeur of our “year ’round vacation lifestyle.” It gets old, fast, but it’s worth trying at least once.

 

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